dont get too excited for this blog entry

Its 1am Sunday night and I am writing because I just decided an hour ago to begin my final essay for my religion class. Now get off my back, its due Tuesday, not tomorrow. Phew. But the topic is “The 5 functions of theology and the strengths and weaknesses of each.” As exciting as this sounds, I had to take a break. I have a serious problem with writing about boring things so I take excessive amounts of breaks to check facebook, get some food, or ya know… rearrange my entire room. Moving my bed, desk and dresser from one side of the room to the other really gets the brain firing on all cylinders. But truthfully, my brain could be sopping in Ritalin and I still wouldn’t be able to focus on this boring of a topic. If you happen to be an expert on this topic, please feel free to jump right in with some substance for my paper. I’m about one more writer’s block away from writing “WWJD? Not give me a bad grade on this religion paper,” and turning it in like that.

On the Brightside, my room looks great, and I freed up a ton of space to do really exciting things. Like sitting on the floor or… vacuuming? I don’t know why I need space in here, to be honest.

Before:

After:

My roommate goes home every single weekend, thus giving me the room to myself. Which sounds like some great alone time. But I’ve literally been in my bed since Friday except for eating and using the bathroom. The nightlife at this school is about as poppin’ as a night at the polygamy ranch. It’s tough to come up with riveting blog topics when the most human interaction you have for three days is seeing someone in the hall on the way to the bathroom.

I am currently listening to Christmas music on Pandora. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I was home for the Thanksgiving and spent much of it getting in the Christmas spirit. But since I’ve gotten back to school I feel like I’ve left Whoville and have been on Mount Crumpit. Someone decided to get in the spirit by spraying that fake snow stuff on the windows in the lobby of my dorm building. But don’t worry, someone took it upon them self to spice up the décor by draw a penis in the fake snow. I can now totally relate with Faith Hill when she asked “where are you Christmas?” (Sorry you had to see this:)

9 days and counting until I go back to Whoville (home :)

tiger's a cheetah

Okay, I feel like I need to talk about Tiger Woods. I don’t want to beat the dead horse on the topic, because Elin did enough beating for all of us. Elin did the one thing Phil Mickelson has never been able to do, she beat Tiger. I will try to do this without too many golf puns, but don’t be Tee’d off if I do… oops.

It started with an accident. The best driver on tour drove straight through his own yard, over a fire hydrant, and into a tree. And even Tiger couldn’t chip his way out of this rough patch. “Allegedly,” Elin chased him down the driveway while he drove away, smashing his windows with a golf club. Tiger denies such allegations, but shattered back windows, a cut up face, and multiple mistresses would say otherwise otherwise.

Tiger was forced to pay $164 for reckless driving. I wonder how he even pays that? Does he write a check? Because the signature on the check would be worth more than what the check was written for.

A voicemail is circulating that begins with someone saying “Hey, its tiger.” In his defense, it could have been any Tiger. Maybe it was Tony? This voicemail was to a girl named Jaimee Grubbs. If spelling the name “Jamie” with two E’s doesn’t tell the story, the fact that she was on the show “Tool Academy,” does. This girl is the epitome of class, oh wait… epitome means opposite right?

Tiger went Letterman on his wife and she went Rocky right back at him. I can’t say I blame her. She’s better looking than all of these “mistresses” anyways. She’s gotta feel like she missed the cut despite being a hole in one and them being pars.

Maybe Tiger should have been sponsored by Adidas, so then he would go by “anything is possible.” Like, you know… a celebrity marriage not ending in divorce. But instead, he’s sponsored by Nike, so really he had no other choice but to “just do it” with all those girls.

However, I believe with time Tiger will be fine. He'll will put a house on Elin’s finger and win a million more tournaments and this will all be old news. In 50 years Tiger’s game with the ladies may be out of the majority of people’s minds, but this will never be forgotten: