I would currently consider myself the Rosie O'donnell of Blog writing. You see, i feel as though many of my entries have been dull, but then I shoot a Kush Ball into the crowd, and for a short time, the dullness and lack of humor is forgotten. But I would like to change my image to more of the Ellen Degeneres of Blog writing. I want to come on stage dancing, bust your gut with my monologue and leave the stage dancing. Metaphorically speaking of course.
I recently embarked on a three week journey from Fort Myers, Florida to Minnesota to New Mexico. Each, no similar to the rest. Minnesota/Wisconsin is where I have spent the majority of my summers growing up, and was pretty the same as it always has been just a few more grandkids getting drunk than the year prior. However, the trip took a turn for the... Crazy when we decided to take a little trip down the apple river.
Now this river I speak of, sounds harmless. Possibly lined with apple trees, with families picnicking along side. This couldnt be further from the truth. Toothless wisconsinites wading in waist deep water which has to be comprised of atleast 10% urine and vomit. Girls showing off their goodies for strings of sparkly beads. I even witnessed a limp body of a girl carried to the shore, only to be surrounded by a tussle between about 10 plus sized women. Not a pretty site because if there's one thing girls from wisconsin don't know, its that one pieced bathing suits DO EXIST. I even saw a group of gay tubers carrying a giant blow up peni5. Not to mention the water was about 60 degrees and for the last 2 hours of the tube ride, the air was even cooler. AHH
Now I have been in New Mexico for 3 or 4 days and I have yet to see someone with blonde hair. The clear minority of Albuquerque is white people, as almost every person I have seen is either Mexican or Indian. Every sign here has both English and Spanish, and burrito restaurants line the streets like angry vietnam vets at a gay pride parade. After days of research and pondering, I have come to the conclusion that New Mexico is a lot like Mexico... only newer.
I am staying with my sister and brother-in-law and baby niece on Kirtland Airforce Base. It is quite unique in a everything-looks-the-same kinda way. If there's one thing I can take away from my time here so far, its that I am not very manly. Im seeing guys with crew cuts washing their Humvees in their head-to-toe camo, while I'm out for a leisurely jog, hair flowing in the breeze. I can now say without a doubt that I am not cut out for the military. I'd never be able to figure out that whole way of telling time anyways.
