The ugly truth of SJP

I have to do it. For those who follow my blog, you may have seen a short list of a few of my favorite and not so favorite celebrities. In my list of “not so favorites” I left out someone who is by far my least favorite. I could not express my real feelings about her in one short sentence so I decided to save this for a separate entry. This young lady goes by the name of Sarah Jessica Parker.

At 11 O’clock every night her show bombards you on multiple channels. Her arrogant voice-overs send shivers up my spine. If you don’t know already, I’m talking about Sex and the City. By far the worst show on television. I would rather watch Susan Boyle get a sponge bath for 30 minutes than even catch a glimpse of the 45 year old Parker attempting to be “sexy.” Hearing her self righteous voice discuss having sex with random men throughout New York city makes me feel sorry for the actors who are pretending to sleep with her.

In a weak moment, or 140 moments, I gave in and saw the Sex and the City movie. Don’t ask me why, this is not about me. For the duration of the movie when I realized they were going one by one showing these women topless, I was quietly praying to myself that SJP would remain clothed. Surprisingly, She did, but the only thing that could be worse than seeing her naked happened. The red head became nude. This was so unnecessary. Now I am not here to rag on red heads, but come on, we all know you guys look better with clothes on, and preferably a hat.

When I heard Sarah Jessica Parker was married to Ferris Bueller, I flew my internal flag at half staff. An actor whom I had much admiration for (Matthew Broderick) married to an actress whom I despise. I have not been able to watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off since hearing this sad news. All I can say is, I used to look up to him, key words: "used to."

And what’s with that thing on her chin? It’s like part of her insides are trying to escape because they found out they are the insides of the ugliest actor in showbiz. Seriously, find me one person who sincerely thinks she is attractive. She needs to stop showing off her boobs like she’s hot. No one wants to see that Sarah. Stop being so arrogant and stop making people call you by your full name You may be hideous, but you are human. Humans don’t use their middle name in casual conversation.

But I will give her one compliment. I admire the fact that she became famous while being one of the ugliest people in America. I couldn’t name three ugly celebrities, they are a rare breed. But she is a purebred ugly celebrity.

But I wish you luck Sarah, just don’t go crying to Mr. Rooney when Ferris skips out on you.