February 11, 2010

My life has been extremely boring lately. Maybe it’s the winter weather, or the fact that I only have classes two days, limiting my human interaction. Whatever the reason, my life has lacked pizzazz and that is why I have not blogged. Hopefully something blog-worthy will happen soon. (unlikely). This blog begins with a recap of my morning, and then goes into a live blog that I did in class.

I woke up this morning at 7:43 a.m. It was my first miracle of the day. You see, I set my alarm for 7:40 a.m., woke up when it went off for long enough to shut off that horrible noise, and then back to sleep I went. By sheer luck, I woke up 3 minutes later when my remote fell off my bed and broke on the hard floor.

I figured that was a sign that I needed to wake up and get ready to go to class. By “get ready,” I mean put a hoodie on over what I wore to bed, slip on my shoes and go to class. Today this was a poor decision because I wore shorts to bed. Lately I have been attending class looking like Kevin McCallister when he first woke up and realized he made his family disappear. As soon as I walked out the door I was kicked in the face by 20-degree gust of air that sent a chill up my exposed lower leg.

I chose to bring my laptop with me today, even though not one of my classes requires doing so. I went to the cafeteria, and ate breakfast alone. Biscuits ‘n’ gravy, and cherry Pepsi was my meal of choice. I enjoy eating breakfast alone because I am the opposite of a morning person. I hate everyone and everything for about 1-2 hours upon waking up. I sat in the cafeteria for about 10 minutes and laid judgment upon every person eating in the cafeteria. Thoughts like “just because you lift weights does not mean a sleeve-less shirt is necessary in 20-degree weather.” “Look at me I wear a big, furry, colorful toboggan because I never got attention as a child and now I am desperate for it.”

I grabbed a coffee before going to my first class because chicks dig guys who drink coffee; it makes them think you’re mature. Well, that’s not my real reason, I am now addicted to caffeine. But all of the sudden, a bullet was shot through my whole “chicks dig it” idea, when I tripped over my own feet leaving the cafeteria and splashed a sizeable amount of the coffee on my sweatshirt. So now instead of being a mature coffee drinker, I’m just a clumsy kid trying to act old. Wonderful.

My first class of the day is Ethics. I am currently sitting in class after taking a pop quiz. We were required to write an essay about the previous class discussion. Here is a picture of what my notes were from last week:

Needless to say I was in trouble. Luckily, the girl next to me told me a few bullet points of what I need to include in my essay. My professor, who would play Cleveland if Family Guy ever casted humans to make a real-life version of the show, talks non stop for both hours of the class. Next to him, is a sign language interpreter who translates everything he says for about a deaf student in the front of the room.

The only problem with the interpreter is she is just sitting there because the deaf student is asleep. The kid behind me just kicked over my coffee, and it spilled onto my shoe. So now I have coffee on me from two separate spillings. Basically, I had enough coffee to make my breath bad and spill half of it on myself but not get the benefit of caffeine. Success.

I am now in English class, or ENG 231, if you wanna get technical. I am typing rapidly so the teacher believes that I am documenting what she says. To the naked eye, I probably look like the most attentive student in the class, as the majority of the class sees more of their inner eye-lids than the teacher’s lecturing.

I make it look like I am taking notes by looking up repeatedly then looking back down at my computer. This makes it appear that I am conscientiously copying down everything my professor says, but in reality I am going back and fourth between Facebook and this document. My teacher is an older woman, nice as can be. She reminds me of a white Oprah, with a hint of Barbara Walters, but boring as can be. If it wasn’t for this computer, I would be using my desk as a pillow right now. She just called on me and asked me what I need to change in a sentence on the worksheet she just handed out. I responded “uhhh.” Somehow her 65-year-old ears thought I said “nothin” and because the sentence required no additional punctuation, it resulted in her thinking I am a genius. Accidental success is the second best form of success (behind earned success but ahead of reality show success).

My favorite thing about college (not literally) is how professors give you breaks during class. They have to know that our breaks consist of everyone going into the bathroom and talking about how much the teacher sucks. Often times about half the class leaves during the break, leaving the teacher flustered and offended.

Well, my 3^rd class of the day was cancelled and my final class couldn’t have been less eventful so that’s all I have for today. If you read all that, I love you.